The Art of Remembrance

A post about funerals and other acts of remembrance

In a previous post I discussed the issues arising following the death of a friend or relative; but I avoided commenting on funeral arrangements or other acts of remembrance believing that such events are just too personal. It seems I was mistaken, for several readers asked that I share my thoughts on this topic too.

A number of situations may arise on the death of a loved one. The first, and best, is where the deceased has left clear written directions as to what should happen by way of their funeral arrangements. This was indeed the case with my mother, who determined her funeral arrangements in detail, and as a sculptress, even carved her own remembrance stone. Whilst few may be as organised as my mother, I would urge every parent, grandparent or adult child to undertake at least part of the task, setting out some basic arrangements, choices or preferences which may guide their family in the aftermath of their death.

In the second category there are those who have given no thought at all to their funeral arrangements – or if they have, they haven’t shared their wishes. Nevertheless, the family (or a member of it) has a clear idea of what should be done and they are permitted to take responsibility for it. Not the best option, but it is good enough if the family agree on the outcome.

A third category comprises disparate family members each having a view, but where their views do not coincide. This is the worst outcome, leading to family friction and feuds, often taken to other graves. It is certainly not a legacy following their death that anyone would wish to leave to their family or friends.

It is a fourth situation that I wish to write about in some detail, for it is the least considered and the easiest remedied: that none of the family or friends has any particular wish or instinct regarding the arrangements and no family member is willing to take on board responsibility for the task. Thus by default the arrangements fall to the funeral director and the priest given charge of a service.

At first glance, this might appear to be a benign outcome – after all, the funeral directors are paid to take on this task – they make all of the arrangements for you, and you just turn up on the day. But what you may find you get is yet another repetition of John 14 i-vii, the 23rd Psalm, Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’, or Robbie Williams’ ‘Angels’.

That we abrogate responsibility for our loved one’s remembrance event is concerning on two levels. It signals that we do not care enough to overcome our moment of grief to put in place a bespoke arrangement. Additionally, it closes the door on active remembrance – funeral directors’ standard arrangements being unlikely to create any special memory.

Contrast that with a recent remembrance notification following the unexpected death of a school teacher which read as follows:

• 0800 hrs: leave the old school and walk into town (2 hours)
• 1000 hrs: breakfast at * cafe
• 1100 hrs: meet for a guided tour of the old school
• 1200 hrs: catch the no 28 bus from the old school to the golf club
• 1230 hrs: assemble at the golf club and walk to St John’s Church
• 1500 hrs: short service at St John’s Church, including the old school hymn
• 1630 hrs: ice cream from the original van that used to park outside school at closing time
• 1830 hrs: buffet at the old school

What a memorable day – whether spending the full ten hours with close family, or simply dipping in depending on your wish and interest! Perhaps few of us could plan with such certainty and care, but my experience tells me that failure to plan, is a failure to commemorate.

As we approach the seasonal holiday, with Omicron rife, perhaps now is the opportunity to address the topic of your own arrangements and cure the iniquity of failing to do so?

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A new personal practical perspective on a death

A post about recent experience and the lessons to be learned from it

It is only a week since a close friend died, a death unexpected. I was tempted to close my laptop and focus on memories. But it seemed to me that this last week has been so full of events and experience that I should capture some of them here in this blog before, like my friend, they vanish from the present. Here I record the mistakes and the successes (for want of a better word) – in the hope that the lessons learned prove useful for my readers.

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It was late Sunday afternoon when I received a message to attend her home. She had been discovered by a carer, unconscious. On my arrival, two paramedic teams were working to re-start her heartbeat and breathing. In the event, the steps proved unsuccessful, and she was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. In all, a period of less than 40 minutes elapsed from notification to her death. It was sudden, momentous, life-losing, life-changing.

Preparing for a death

My regular readers will be familiar with my posts ‘Those that are left Behind‘, ‘Preparing for a Good Death’, ‘To do List‘, ‘Power of Attorney‘, ‘Bereavement, the aftermath‘ and ‘The Non-binary Continuum‘. In this post, there will be inevitably some overlap with those, but I would urge readers to revisit them, using the links provided above.

The first learning point that arose for me was the importance of a ‘DNACPR‘ decision. My friend was elderly and becoming frail. In truth – not just with hindsight – the cardiopulmonary resuscitation that was administered should not have been attempted given a period of unconsciousness with a late-octogenarian patient. Few attempts at CPR are successful, and the success rate diminishes rapidly for the elderly, where less than one in ten interventions have the desired effect.

Fortunately, all four attempts at resuscitation, although well-meant, did not result in my friend’s temporary or momentary consciousness, so the distressing implications of CPR were not to be experienced by her. The animation ‘The Lady & the Reaper’ video humorously and graphically describes this battle for those at the end of life. Watch it, and it may well change your view on this subject.

Although we had discussed it and I had already prepared an Advance Decision for her at her request – at the time of her death, unsigned – my friend did not have a DNACPR in place. I regret that I had not pressed this point with her during her life. Perhaps the indignity associated with her death could have been avoided had her carer been in possession of such a mandate.

The moment of death

In the case of my friend, I missed the moment of her death due to the unexpected nature of it, and the intensive and exclusionary attention of medical professionals who attended her. Previously, she had neither been ill nor complaining. That very day she had met her early morning carer for the first time, taken several phone calls and received a close family visitor.

No matter how many times you may have experienced the moment leading to a death, you are ill-prepared to cope with the sheer pressures that arise. Many of these are formed by risk-averse medical attenders, or imposed by bureaucracy. In addition to the administration of CPR, medics adhere to a perceived imperative to remove the dying to a fully equipped hospital where a range of interventions is possible.

The medical attenders had necessarily but one focus – their patient. All else was secondary. Understandably, they took and retained charge, but in doing so excluded others, taking critical decisions without consultation, and removing my friend from her home in the vain attempt to save her fragile life.

Being deprived of presence at death that is almost as hard to bear as the death itself. These are often moments when ritual is of importance, for example, releasing the spirit of the deceased. I regret that I was not present to hold her hand. With hindsight I should have sought to be more involved.

What happened next

One of the most challenging tasks following a death is to inform family and friends of it. Usually a phone call, it requires resolute sensitivity.

I undertook this task on behalf of the family to spare them the ordeal. In doing so, I avoided the platitudes so often deployed, for they neither soften the blow nor enhance the message. I rang using her landline so that her friends might recognise the call, if not the caller. My message was simple – saying who I was, that I had serious news, and that she had died that day. I emphasised that the family wanted them to know sooner than later by a personal call, and that they had appeared in her frequent call list. For some I was able to relay words of fondness and appreciation that my friend had shared with me and would have wished them to hear.

In my friend’s case we were fortunate, as I had recently added their names and numbers to her new phone, checking who the person was, that they were still alive, and whether their number was still in current use. This gave me a distinct advantage of knowing the recipient of the call, albeit never have previously spoken with them.

In speaking about it afterwards, the family have agreed that it was the right decision to delegate this task, one that should be moved to the best-practice list.

Administrative and pastoral tasks

With a sudden death where the cause of death is not immediately apparent, albeit with an elderly person, the issue of a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is not automatic, as here in the case of my friend. Once logged on the NHS central record, the Coroner will issue an interim certificate pending the post-mortem results and, if necessary, a short formal inquest. Receiving the interim certificate enables the body to be released for burial or cremation, and the formal process of notification of authorities.

One advantage of digitisation of the Coroner’s Office is that they will be advised administratively where a death occurs within a NHS facility. Likewise, through the digital NHS records, the deceased’s GP may also be consulted.

In my earlier post I have dealt with many aspects of this particular process. It is worth revisiting, in particular with regard to the ‘Tell Us Once‘ procedure. Note that on local council notification, council tax will be suspended for up to six months. Those exercising Power of Attorney for the deceased should bear in mind that informing the bank of the death using the banking notification service will inevitably trigger freezing of the deceased’s accounts. If the executors agree, there may be merit in a slight delay to enable immediate and urgent payments to be made from the account, for example for outstanding bills, the funeral and the wake. When the death certificate is received, a copy should be sent by attorneys to the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG), together with the original and certified copies of the power.

Funeral arrangements and the like

I don’t propose to share with you the arrangements made for my friend, for such are very personal. In my ‘To Do List‘ post I raised the importance of deciding on these steps before the death. When death is unexpected and family are inconsolable this is the wrong time to seek to agree such matters. We all owe it to our family that implement arrangements to have made them in advance, however little we relish the task. To do otherwise is to shift an unbearable burden onto family and friends who, given the emotion of the moment, may simply argue about what is to be done.

With my support the family wrote a Eulogy, determined their own Order of Service, made funeral arrangements for cremation, and booked a venue for the wake.

This leaves the question of the deceased’s possessions. For those, like my friend’s family, who had assiduously arranged the deceased’s Will, named executors were able to take charge of these issues immediately, together with the disposal or sale of any property. Needless to say, before dealing with any property or banking transactions, executors should apply for probate using the government online process here.

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The non-binary continuum

A post about dementia and dying

When you first read the post title, you might have thought this was another tedious piece about gender and sex. Happily, it concerns something far more important. It’s about dying – the one inevitable consequence of our birth.

Neurologists tell us that brain death starts at 20 years when a few neurons die, are not replaced, and our brain begins to shrink. Fast forward to the end of life, the loss is so extreme that we may lose cognitive capacity through dementia. When eventually our heart stops, our organs shut down consecutively, and not until 72 hours later do our white blood cells give up life, realising then that their host has departed. Of the 50% of our body that comprises bacteria, some will continue for years until little of us remains.

Whilst it is a myth that our hair and fingernails continue to grow after death, living and dying are clearly not totally distinct states – they comprise a non-binary continuum of existence. The dying process starts in adulthood and continues until at least three days after our last breath.

When you start to see life and death this way it becomes possible to change your mental approach to the topic. Instead of fearing death as an event, you come to terms with it as a process – and importantly, one that should be managed. Speak with any consultant geriatrician and they will tell you how necessary it is to prepare for the end game, a period of your life when you may be disempowered concerning choices. Will you have a Titanic death as one of the bandsmen on deck playing until the water laps your ankles – or do you propose to battle it out with the sharks?

In his book ‘33 Meditations on Death‘ (which I recommend), consultant geriatrician Dr David Jarrett addresses the implications of end-of-life care, in particular a choice between vaccinations and antibiotics -or- oxygen and opiates. He postulates that death is not the worst thing that can happen to us, but that the process leading to it might be, especially with the onset of dementia. What would be your choices for ‘Anticipatory Care Planning? For you, to use Jarrett’s words, what matters most?

In previous posts I addressed the importance of making an advanced decision and advanced statement. These set out clearly and succinctly your wishes and priorities.

When writing our plans, what are our options?

• What are the available care options should we be unable to look after ourselves?
• What support is available for those with dementia?
• To remain at home, what adaptations are required?
• How and where can we create a bathroom should we contemplate single-level living?
• How can we provide keyless entry to allow carers access to our home?
• Have we executed powers of attorney, so that day-to-day decisions can be taken with ease?
• What financial arrangements have we made to support ourselves and our caring team?

It is supremely important that our plans for later years are completed whilst we have the energy and capacity to make them, which probably for those of us over 60 years of age, is now. If you decide simply to leave it until the day arrives, that day may be just a day too late.

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Power of Attorney – a practical guide

A post about why you should consider granting a Power of Attorney and how to go about it.

If you have not already done so, you should address the issue of what will happen if you, or someone close to you, loses capacity to manage their own health decisions and financial affairs.

As I recorded in an earlier post, loss of capacity may arise with little or no warning. One day you are in charge of your affairs – the next you need all the support and assistance you can get.

Many people think that executing a Power of Attorney (POA) will be sufficient. As both a lawyer and an attorney I can tell you that it is not. The POA is the preliminary step, and in this post, I will guide you through some of the rest – the challenges that can arise should you not prepare well for the day that you may need to hand over control to others.

Why should I make a POA?

Whilst the purpose of this post is not to persuade you (or your relative) to make a POA, it is right to highlight the disadvantages of not having done so.

If you cannot make important, life-affecting decisions for yourself, someone else may have to make them for you. The bottom line is that many such decisions are made in a multi-agency process, often led by a risk-aversive practice nurse and social worker who are unlikely to know your detailed background, priorities or wishes. How much better to have these choices considered in light of your likely preferences?

Preparing the POA

The process of preparing POAs is not as complicated as many may expect. You do not need a lawyer. Here is the excellent government web site that will guide you through the process easily at no charge. Of equal importance, it sets out how you may change or revoke a POA that has been registered with the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG).

Choice of attorneys

In preparing your POA you should consider three key matters: how many attorneys do you wish to appoint; who will be your attorneys; and must they act jointly, or can they exercise their power independently should the need arise?

Former Court of Protection judge, Denzil Lush wrote a realistically critical article concerning the dangers that may arise from granting POAs, saying that after adjudicating in 6,000 cases, he would never himself grant such a power. I note that his concerns focus around possible family division arising from an unaccounted exercise of these powers, rather than from the powers themselves. Like all judges, Lush was exposed to those occasions when things went badly wrong, rather than the considerable number of examples where the POA was a lifeline to smooth management of a donor’s affairs.

But Lush’s comments highlight the very real importance of attorney selection. For some, a son, daughter or other close caring relative is the obvious choice. But it is not necessarily the most appropriate option for others. Following Denzil’s lead, if in doubt, do not grant the power and leave the matter to the Court of Protection to appoint a ‘deputy’. That said, do bear in mind that proceeding through the Court of Protection will result in delay, is not a cheap, simple or a speedy option, and the powers granted will be more cumbersome for the appointed deputy than for your personal attorney under a POA.

When appointing more than one attorney (two Attorneys is advised), the next question is whether the attorneys may act singly, or must act jointly in relation to your affairs. To resolve this choice I would suggest that the donor sits down with their proposed attorneys and discusses these options and their implications. Should you conclude that your attorneys must act jointly, you will have a degree of extra security – but at the expense of making the POA more difficult to manage. For example, banks or healthcare providers may require written instructions from all attorneys before they will undertake even the simplest transaction.

In discussing who will be your attorneys, think innovatively of checks and balances. Who is likely to survive you? Who has both the time and skills to manage your affairs? Who will be sensitive, responsive and honest? How well will your chosen attorneys share auditing information with other key members of your family?

Registering the POA

I have encountered some examples of cases where a relative has granted POAs, but failed to register them with the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG). Registration is a fairly simple task, and the registration fee is modest. It is usually completed in about two months. Without registration, powers cannot be exercised and the process of making a POA will have been wasted.

Using your POA

Registration simply ensures that the POA delegation is legally valid. Before it can be used, organisations that are expected to rely on it will require sight of the original grant or a certified copy. Each company or organisation will individually record the fact of a delegated power.

POA for health and welfare

It is wise to ensure that the donor’s NHS GP provider is notified that a POA for health and welfare has been registered with the OPG, by asking that it be recorded on the patient’s medical records. This means that when/if a donor loses capacity, decision making can immediately be transferred to the attorneys.

You will note that the NHS website linked above also refers to ‘Advance Decisions’ – which were considered in our earlier post here. I have a copy of my Advance Decision lodged digitally with my GP.

POA for property and financial affairs

Unlike the health and welfare POA, the absence of a doctor to assess loss of capacity means that delegating decisions concerning finances is a more sensitive step.

Financial institutions have differing procedures for registering your POA with them, and the process will take about an hour of face-to-face meeting. Attorneys will be expected to provide the original or certified copy of the POA, evidence of their identity (such as passport), evidence of their address, and their personal banking details. If the donor and the attorney both bank with the same provider, this process is foreshortened.

Once satisfied that a genuine POA for property and finance has been registered with the OPG and is ready to be activated, bank providers can issue a POA card for each attorney for each of the donor’s accounts held by them. This will enable purchases, transfers and other transactions on the donor’s account, and will permit online access. I strongly recommend online access, as in the case of multiple attorneys, each of them then may have access to the financial accounts to track and check the purpose of transactions.

Whilst digitising online access to the donor’s bank accounts, consider digitising all utilities – water, power, telephone, council tax. Doing so will provide the attorney with immediate online access to track payments and usage.

To sum up

A POA is an essential tool when it comes to the loss of capacity. With extended survival, a donor may be assisted by their attorney for many years. Using Advance Decisions and Advance Statements in conjunction with the POA will add a much-needed safeguard for both donor and attorney. A decision to make them can never be too early – but may often be too late.

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Age, health, vitamin D3 and Covid-19

A post concerning vitamin D3 and the virus

I know what you’re thinking. Just when you had enough of the pandemic, here is another ageing blogger writing on a scientific topic that is best left to the experts.

Its just that the virologists, microbiologists, epidemiologists and clinicians tend to disagree with each other as to detail, and when they agree their message is often inaccessible. Sometimes we simply want a clear, easy explanation that is backed up by uncontroversial science, rather than laced with it.

Here old barristers have an advantage. We have spent a lifetime researching things on which we have no expert knowledge ourselves, then distilling information into a easy digest that non-experts understand. Like courts, we prioritise the ‘paramountcy of truths’ rather than the ‘fog of conjecture’.  Our job is to examine the options rigorously, test them with forensic skill, and identify the facts as they appear.

For this post I have no interests to declare. Like you, I am just interested to acquire knowledge on which I can act and rely without danger.

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Long before the Covid-19 pandemic in 2016, a large cast of contributors wrote an article in the American Society for Nutrition journal,  Vitamin D deficiency in Europe: pandemic? :

‘The present findings … highlight population subgroups within Europe that may be at increased risk of vitamin D deficiency and that may require a specific focus on devising public health strategies for the prevention of deficiency. Nonwhite populations in Europe are at higher risk of vitamin D deficiency than their white counterparts. For example, compared with white populations in the United Kingdom, Norway, and Finland, the nonwhite population subgroups have 3- to 71-fold higher yearly prevalence of vitamin D deficiency. Differences also exist within different nonwhite ethnic groups residing in the same country.

In this article published on 15 April 2020, ‘The role of vitamin D in the prevention of coronavirus disease 2019 infection and mortality‘, the authors said,

‘The aging people is the group with the highest risk for morbidity and mortality with SARS-CoV2’. ‘Vitamin D deficiency is evident throughout the European population at prevalence rates that are a matter of concern and that require action both from a public health and a clinical perspective’. ‘The pathology of COVID-19 involves a complex interaction between the SARS-CoV2 and the body immune system. We have identifed a potential crude association between the mean vitamin D levels in various European countries with COVID-19 cases/1M and COVID-19 mortality’.

Let us come to Vitamin-D and COVID-19: do deficient risk a poorer outcome? an article in the Lancet published on 20 May 2020.

‘A growing body of circumstantial evidence now also specifically links outcomes of COVID-19 and vitamin D status. In a cross-sectional analysis across Europe, COVID-19 mortality was significantly associated with vitamin D status in different populations.  Rose Anne Kenny (Trinity College Dublin, University of Dublin, Ireland) led the cross-sectional study into mortality and vitamin D status. Regarding the potential effect on COVID-19 outcomes of vitamin D she said, “The circumstantial evidence is very strong”.

A further article Evidence that Vitamin D Supplementation Could Reduce Risk of Influenza and COVID-19 Infections and Deaths published on 2 April 2020 reads thus:

Evidence supporting the role of vitamin D in reducing risk of COVID-19 includes that the outbreak occurred in winter, a time when 25-hydroxyvitamin D (25(OH)D) concentrations are lowest; that the number of cases in the Southern Hemisphere near the end of summer are low; that vitamin D deficiency has been found to contribute to acute respiratory distress syndrome; and that case-fatality rates increase with age and with chronic disease comorbidity, both of which are associated with lower 25(OH)D concentration. To reduce the risk of infection, it is recommended that people at risk of influenza and/or COVID-19 consider taking 10,000 IU/d of vitamin D3 for a few weeks to rapidly raise 25(OH)D concentrations, followed by 5000 IU/d. The goal should be to raise 25(OH)D concentrations above 40–60 ng/mL (100–150 nmol/L). For treatment of people who become infected with COVID-19, higher vitamin D3 doses might be useful. Randomized controlled trials and large population studies should be conducted to evaluate these recommendations.

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Whilst taking very large doses of vitamin D3 is controversial, modest 25-50mg doses appear to have no contra-indications. Watch your fructrose intake, for this may inhibit the benefits of D3 supplements…however, that is a separate topic for a further post.

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Bereavement: the aftermath and practical steps to handle it

A post about preparing for bereavement

Readers of this blog will recall my earlier posts about preparing for our own death, thinking about those left behind, and how some forethought can save our families much distress and perhaps conflict in the aftermath of our demise.

Would it be too much to suggest that we should take practical steps, not just for our own death, but to prepare for the death of a relative or loved one? At the risk of shocking you, I propose to do exactly that in this post, setting out simple but effective tried-and-tested steps that can make the process of bereavement more bearable that it otherwise would be.

No matter how we have prepared, the moment of a relative’s death comes as a paralysing shock. Emotions, good or bad, are in turmoil. It is not the time for clear thinking and decisive action.

That is why we should anticipate the event and plan for it.

The moment of death

Most deaths occur in hospitals, nursing homes, or at home, so I will focus on them. For those present at the deathbed, there are some simple steps that may be taken to make last moments more meaningful.

In the past, relatives would gather around the bed of a dying person with a prayer book, bible, rosary…and their supper. They prepared for the ‘long haul to an unknown moment’, sometimes for weeks on end.

Life and dying may now be more clinical, but not necessarily different. We still strive to be present when death occurs, not in the cafeteria or at the coffee machine. We want to have something to say, even if we cannot find the words.

Some preparation may be enormously helpful. I am not suggesting that tables of victuals and flagons of wine are laid out – but something to sustain the wait is essential. Pick up our relative’s favourite book and you certainly have something familiar to read to them. For those with smart phones, pre-load a simple, dignified group message to share the fact of death when it comes, without having to face its awful implication.

Immediately after someone dies

A home death is the greatest kindness for both the deceased and those attending them. Time is on your side. Relatives may come, go, or stay; so each is supported whilst simultaneously they can fulfill their own moment of bereavement. Hospitals and nursing homes are less tolerant, and relatives report pressure from staff for the deceased to be moved with final moments being snatched away by administrative imperatives.

It follows that such limited time must be used effectively. Following the moment of death, a professional carer spoke of the custom to open a window to allow the spirit to leave. This simple ritual of beauty served to elevate the moment. It was a wise use of time and imagination providing closure, and an enhanced lasting memory.

The practical steps

After peremptory moments of sympathy, ‘What is the name of the undertaker?’ is the first question that relatives are frequently asked by hospital bereavement staff or care home administrators. The bed needs to be vacated; visitors will be distressed; the mortuary or chapel of rest is full; release of the body must be authorised.

If no other preparations are to be made, an answer to this simple question is essential. How much better to have made contact with a chosen funeral director, spoken about proposed arrangements for burial or cremation, shared the personal details of the deceased, and provided advance authority to remove the body to their premises? All that is then needed is a digital copy of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death which will have been completed by a clinician.

Bear in mind that during Covid-19, options are limited, ceremonies being limited. For those that have chosen the option of cremation, many are deferring their mourning to a time when ashes may be scattered at a family occasion unrestricted by lockdown, to be followed by a memorial gathering to include friends and associates.

Registering the death

Covid-19 has limited our access to Registry Offices, substituting a 30 minute telephone or online interview. Here the registrar will require particular information which can take effort to acquire. You might wish to note down answers to these details in advance of the appointment:

• Copy Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD).
• Date of death.
• Place of death – the address including postcode or details of the hospital or nursing home. If in an ambulance, the locality of the vehicle when the death occurred and the intended destination.
• Name by which the deceased was known as at the time of death, their maiden name, and any other name they may have used during their life.
• Their gender.
• Date of birth, and town and county of birth, preferably from copy birth certificate.
• Occupation by way of trade, and whether working or retired.
• Home address at which they lived before removal to hospital or care home.
• Name and address of the care or nursing home where they lived before death.
• NHS number (from their medical card), and National Insurance number.
• Name, address, status and date of birth of next of kin.
• Name, address and contact details of undertaker, and the location at which burial or cremation is to take place.

‘Tell us Once’

UK Government provides a service through which central and local authorities may be informed of a death. Other paid services are available, but I recommend the free portal here.

To access the service you will need the reference number on the death certificate. This will be provided by the registrar of deaths. Additionally, you should know the answer to the following questions:

• Has the deceased filed a tax return in the last 12 months? If not, you may answer ‘NO’ to informing HM Revenue.
• What state benefits, including state pension did the deceased claim or receive prior to their death?
• Were they in receipt or eligible for a MOD pension or other payments?
• Were they in receipt of local authority support from Adult Care or social services and the name of the providing council?
• Did they use library services?
• Did they have a license to drive, what is their driver number, did they have Blue Badge service?
• Did they have a passport, and what is its number?

Bills, banking and utilities

Hopefully, in their lifetime the deceased will have read my previous post about the importance of making a Will and ‘Going Away Bag’, and shall have appointed executors to handle their financial affairs after their death.

However frequently a spouse or partner is left to pick up the pieces.

My advice for them is to copy or photograph the Death Certificate when it arrives, thus providing a digital copy that may accompany short covering letters informing private companies that are not covered by the ‘Tell Us Once’ scheme. Note that the banks operate a similar service here.

For survivors, there are significant advantages in digitizing. To do this using the latest copy of the utility bills – gas, electric, water, telephone and broadband, council tax – open an online account. Whether to relieve a surviving spouse or partner of bill management, or to facilitate before selling a house, this one step will provide quick, remote access to all of the routine tasks.

Food for thought

Collectively, we spend inordinate amounts of time anticipating life events that never happen. Death is the one inevitable event, and it is neglected when it comes to life planning. Perhaps that it is ‘not our problem’ is a reason….unless following the death of our own relative or loved one, it does fall to us to step up to the task?

Whilst an advert may appear at the foot, this blog is neither monetarised, nor endorsing any product